I tore the carpet off my stairs in hopes of finding beautiful wood ones that matched seamlessly with my new wood floors.

I’ll give you a moment to laugh.

I had no idea you guys. NO IDEAS on what I would find and the amount of Pineapple Fanta it would take to get through it all.

The staples

The wood filling

The sanding

The sanding

The sanding

It was all going fine until THE CAULKING.

Really. How exactly to caulk guns even exist. They are the worst tool out there.

First you need to cut some arbitrary sized hole and load it into the caulk gun of mis-judgement. Once the trigger is squeezed no matter how small the hole is, a rushing glob of caulk oozes out at 30mph and will NOT STOP COMING OUT even if you cauterize it with a flame torch.

You spread the caulk only to wipe away 97% onto your pants, shirt, hair, and eventually the cat walking by.

Every push of the trigger starts the swearing engine.

“This MotherFu*king caulk gun fu*king BLOWS asshole chunks of shit all over the damn place and no, no no no no, I’m fu*king done”

Ahem. Sorry. Let’s be honest, I’m writing about caulk here, it was bound to happen.

Moreover I can’t seem to get the right small amount that I need without the constant pressure of MOAR CAULK that will not stop coming out of the damn gun.

I can’t. Nope. Just No.

There must be a better way.

And there was.

Easy access change out tips in different hole sizes?  Check.

I control the pressure and timing of ooze?  Check

Cleaner? Check

Less swearing? Mostly check. I’m not a miracle worker here.