New Porch for Limoncello

Posted on June 24, 2015 by The Next Martha

Our house is approaching 30 years old and since all of the wood on it was pine, well, it was no bueno.

Rotted no bueno.

We had one hell of a house repair situation going on.

First we replaced all of our pine trim with a product called LP Smartside. We picked this option because we knew we wanted something that was going to resist rot and yet maintained a wood look.

As we looked to the porch we had larger issues. This was the before picture.

It was lovely and scrolly. The builder only put one support on the corner and that support post was 3/4 rotted. It was also bowing on both sides due to no support underneath.

So off it came. All of it under the roof including the header which is still pictured here because, yep, it was rotted too.

This gave us an opportunity to do something different. And by that I mean scour Pinterest for inspiration. After finding the right posts and the perfect person to do the job, this is how it ended up.

No, your eyes aren’t playing tricks, yes we had our house painted too and YES that is a YELLOW DOOR.

I’m pretty much in love.

So come on by. Limoncello is on ice and ready.

Half Bath Wall Texture DIY

Posted on April 24, 2015 by The Next Martha

Home projects seem to snowball don’t they?

We were having wood flooring installed on our first floor. This meant that the kitchen flooring ,some sort of laminate, was getting ripped up. This same flooring happened to also ran into a half bath.

No worries, I‘ll just run the new wood flooring into the bathroom I thought.

I had friends and plumbers insist that this was a bad idea.

Water and wood are not great friends it seems. Considering the flooring in the bathroom was already buckled due to a toilet leak, I reluctantly gave in and decided to do tile.

And we know how that story goes….

If you decide to change out the flooring then you’ll want a new vanity.

If you decide to get a new vanity, then you’ll want a new light fixture.

If you decide to get a new light fixture, then you’re going to want to paint.

If you paint your bathroom then you now have a snowball project.

This bathroom is pitifully small. I wanted something to make it a little more unique than the small rectangle that it was. I decided a texture on the back wall would add visual interest.

I had fallen in love with these type of wall tiles but once I priced out a 4×8 wall it was about $150.

I knew I wanted texture but didn’t want it for that much and honestly those tiles were thicker than I wanted to take off from the room dimensions.

So. Hmm.

How do I get texture that is cheap and preferably not permanent that would cause damage to wall.

Wait a second.

I have the answer.

HALLOWEEN TOMBSTONES!!

“How do you always make it about Halloween,Jen, you might be asking”

Stay with me here.

Materials

4×8 Sheet of polystyrene. $15.00 (I use this to make tombstones)

Dremel tool OR a wood burning tool

Heat gun (if using Dremel)

How:

I knew I wanted to sort of copy this pattern that was in the light fixture I had picked out.

And then I used the heat gun to smooth out the rough edges

I then installed it and since I cut it pretty close to wall size, I just sort of shoved it in place. Next I painted and caulked the edges along existing walls.

So, how cool is that?

Patterns are endless on this project and I love the end result.

Pastry Bag Caulking

Posted on April 22, 2015 by The Next Martha

I tore the carpet off my stairs in hopes of finding beautiful wood ones that matched seamlessly with my new wood floors.

I’ll give you a moment to laugh.

I had no idea you guys. NO IDEAS on what I would find and the amount of Pineapple Fanta it would take to get through it all.

The staples

The wood filling

The sanding

It was all going fine until THE CAULKING.

Really. How exactly to caulk guns even exist. They are the worst tool out there.

First you need to cut some arbitrary sized hole and load it into the caulk gun of mis-judgement. Once the trigger is squeezed no matter how small the hole is, a rushing glob of caulk oozes out at 30mph and will NOT STOP COMING OUT even if you cauterize it with a flame torch.

You spread the caulk only to wipe away 97% onto your pants, shirt, hair, and eventually the cat walking by.

Every push of the trigger starts the swearing engine.

“This MotherFu*king caulk gun fu*king BLOWS asshole chunks of shit all over the damn place and no, no no no no, I’m fu*king done”

Ahem. Sorry. Let’s be honest, I’m writing about caulk here, it was bound to happen.

Moreover I can’t seem to get the right small amount that I need without the constant pressure of MOAR CAULK that will not stop coming out of the damn gun.

I can’t. Nope. Just No.

There must be a better way.

And there was.

Easy access change out tips in different hole sizes? Check.

I control the pressure and timing of ooze? Check

Cleaner? Check

Less swearing? Mostly check. I’m not a miracle worker here.

The Martha Project

Marginally Talented

Category Archives: Home Projects

New Porch for Limoncello

Half Bath Wall Texture DIY

Pastry Bag Caulking