My son has just entered Jr. High this year. It’s been a period of anticipation, mild anxiety, and transitions.
For me.
He’s been mostly clear sailing. Sure he likes or dislikes this subject, or complains about certain things, but overall, it’s been a pretty smooth transition. He even won the first student award given for the year, so I’d say he’s doing just fine.
I knew that being in a single building dedicated to the tween years, there would be some drama mixed with hormones with a side of eye rolling. I just didn’t expect it would come from the parents.
My son recently invited a friend over to hang out. Upon asking his parents, he replied with
“My mom doesn’t want me to hang out with you.”
My son tells me with tears welled up in his eyes.
Sure, at 5’6” he looks like a young man, but at 11, he’s still a child and he certainly didn’t expect to hear that.
I’ve never had any discipline issues with my children. That is not to say they are perfect or without faults from time to time. It’s just not been a constant theme with either of them. They make mistakes, we talk about them and try to correct said behavior for any future similar situations.
My son had gone to this child’s house over the summer for a birthday party. It was a sleepover that my son did not participate in, but he did stay late that evening. My son was picked up (by my husband) and some small conversation did happen but never did my son’s behavior come up.
It seems a bit unfair.
If you’re going to ban my child, then at least give me the insight to the behavior that made you reach this decision. Having my son’s friend “deal” with this situation also seems unfair to him as well. But I digress.
I guess I’m feeling multiple things. Sadness for my son who doesn’t understand what he did. Confused as to why my son would be banned under circumstances not expressed to me. And mad. What about the damn village? These are young kids just learning their way in the world, with newly acquired emotions and hormones. Help parents help them learn their way.
Raising children is hard people and when your child does something next? I’ll be over here trying to support and help you because we’re all in this together.
Maybe these parents are just uncomfortable with their son going over to someone else’s house. No control over the environment, they don’t know if the parents are going to be there….
We had a similar occurrence and it turned out to be one giant misunderstanding that was quickly cleared up with a chat with the mom. Hope. Your situation works out as well as ours did.
Wth? People are weird.
Give me their address. I’m going over there on Friday.
Agree. With everything. You’re gonna scare the shit out of that/those parent(s) hiding behind their child.
I am so sorry that your son and you are going through this. This absolutely sucks on so many levels.
I don’t understand the lack of communication and almost secrecy regarding children and their behaviors. If my child is acting like a jerk, I want to know about it, because we don’t play that here. And, if your child is acting up, I’ll let you know. Juxtapositly (I know that’s not a word…rolling with it), I’ll mention the good and hope for it in return as well.
Call the mom. “Seek first to understand before you seek to be understood. ” That’s sage advice from Stephen Covey that has served me well over the years.
I probably will send an email. I\’m not really friends with this family but our sons still talk on the phone a lot so this issue needs to be discussed.
We had a similar situation with one of our children.
It turned out, according to the parents, they never said that – their child lied because they simply didn’t want to play with my child.
Though to be honest, we had other issues with the family following this, and I’m not sure the parents were lying to me to get out of an uncomfortable situation themselves.
No matter what, it sucks, especially when you are the mom to the kid coming home who is sad and crying. It sucks all around.
And I’m sorry for you and him that you are there.
Hmmm…Brandie’s comment makes me think. I’ve told my sons they can always blame a no on me if they feel socially awkward– if kids are about to do something stupid, parents aren’t going to be home, any kind of situation where they realize it’s better to bow out. Not that this is even remotely that case, but it makes me wonder if something the mom said got twisted around somehow. Middle school is so hard. Good luck, Mama.
I could see that but they talk on the phone almost everyday. It seems that the kid likes my son just fine based on that.