3rd Annual Epitaph Contest


Back by popular demand!

It’s  time for the smart, clever, witty, people of the world to come up with words that I carve into tombstone form.

Your words sitting in my front yard to be seen by thousands.  Or hundreds.

Come up with your best name, poem, or quote  for an epitaph and leave it in the comment section.

I make the tombstone, so I’m the judge.

Rules:  Be unique, no religion, satan or sexual stuff.

Submissions until October 6th.




2010 Epitaph Contest

2010 Winners Post (Smonkyou, SluiterNation, Guiltysquid) 

2010 Winner:  Smonkyou







2011 Epitaph Contest 

2011 Winner Post (@moooooog35 , Woosel)

2011 Winner:  @moooooog35









You can use this for inspiration if you need to.

Yes, it’s mine.

Well.  Not MINE, a neighbor gave it to me.  It was her mom’s.










Annual Tombstone Epitaph Contest

Last year I held this contest and it was such a great fun that I decided to do it again.

I make a few new tombstones every year. It takes hours to make each one including the time it takes to find just the right name and epitaph.

This is where you come in.

Leave a comment with your tombstones name and/or epitaph idea.

Rules: No Sex, Satan, or anything Religious. That stuff just creeps out the neighbors AND I do have small children who live with me.

I’ll be the judge in the end and the winners will be on display in my cemetery this year.

You can read last years entries HERE.
You can find last years winners HERE.

I’m like Santa. But Better.

I went to Trader Joe’s today. Outside the store there was a Salvation Army guy who looked like Santa. He wasn’t dressed like Santa but I’d put money down that this Saturday he’ll be at a local bank.

He was all jolly and stuff.

He might have snuck a bottle of Two Buck Chuck out there.

No one is happy at 16 degrees ringing bells.


People were unloading on him. In a “Man, all I have is a $20 in my pocket but you’re out here freezing your bells off so here you go” sort of way.

And I thought. Wow. He’s got a good gig going on.

And if there is some sort of “Bringing in the Loot” prize. He’s going to win.

So in the spirit of Freezing Bells and being generous I am offering someone to win these:

These are not actual size

I think we know that I bought these myself.

Yes, they are that good.

Just leave a comment by Sunday December 12th.

If you unfollow me on twitter, you’ll be entered twice.

Happy Holidays.