Last year I held this contest and it was such a great fun that I decided to do it again.
I make a few new tombstones every year. It takes hours to make each one including the time it takes to find just the right name and epitaph.
This is where you come in.
Leave a comment with your tombstones name and/or epitaph idea.
Rules: No Sex, Satan, or anything Religious. That stuff just creeps out the neighbors AND I do have small children who live with me.
I’ll be the judge in the end and the winners will be on display in my cemetery this year.
You can read last years entries HERE.
You can find last years winners HERE.
I have a vintage tombstone salt and pepper set that belonged to my great grandmother. The read as follows:
Here lies
Pepper Tate
Hanged By Mistake
He was right
and we was wrong
but we strung him up
and now he's gone.
Here lies
Salty O'Day
Hoss Thief
A rope necktie
and an old oak tree
and old Salty wasn't
what he used to be.
Here Lies
The Oxford Comma
Tragically removed by a serial killer panda who eats, shoots and leaves.
Beloved by his parents, Ayn Rand and God.
Here lies Anita Newhart
She was next on the donor list.
Here Lies The Honey Badger
It Don't Care (PG version)
Here Lies The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger
It Just Don't Give a Shit. (R version)
Here Lies
Imis Theeties
"I tried a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body."
#notwinning
God I wish I could put that R honey badger one in my yard.
Owning 3 herding dogs means never being alone.
Until now!
Here lies Capt. Barbossa
Where's my damn apple?
Ima Rustie
Shoulda got a tetanus booster
Here lies Arnold Drummond.
Finally finding out the hard way what Will was talkin' 'bout.
Something a little more serious, perhaps?
I shall lie like this when I am dead–
But with one more secret in my head.
from Dorothy Livesay's "Going to Sleep", from the poetry collection To Say the Least, edited by P. K. Page
Thank you for spreading the spirit!
1) Expiration Dates: not a joking matter.
2) I'm dead. Pls RT
3) Death by Pinterest.
I plan to use this one for my own headstone, but meanwhile, you can borrow it:
“Couldn’t you visit me more often?”
Ok, mine must be bad bc I have the uncontrollable urge to explain each bad joke so that everyone gets it…
see, if you say the name out loud for the first one…
and the second one's last name is "Nicks" – you know… like when you nick yourself shaving?
*sigh* I give up.
I got them both the first time. I'm a professional.
O'Doyle Rules!
A banana peel, really?
That is awesome.
Steve. E. Nicks
Took my beard & it took me down…
Justa Misty Stepmon
Dancing to Reggae is Deadly
Here lies Han D Mann
He thought he knew more about power tools than @TheNextMartha
Here Lies Google+
then have a "+1" underneath it.
From @poeiap Cass E. Roll: Burnt her biscuits. Burnt 'em good.
Here Lies Congressman Weiner's career.
And, no, we could not get the casket top to close.
Joan Rivers.
I'm not dead yet, just embalmed!
Good hair day completely wasted in a coffin.
Osama bin Laden
SEALed with a kiss.
I told you I was sick.
Pig.
Killed by Angry Bird, October 2011
I.M Indenial
What do you guys want to do tomorrow?
Here lies MySpace.
Stupid Facebook.
"Here lies a dyslexic. P.I.R"
I love this contest!
Are you familiar with Ohio State football? How about
Jim Tressel – killed by too many tattoos.
The Radio Star “Video did it”
1 Little Monkey “Did not listen to what the Dr. said”
The Video Star
8/1/1981 – sometime in 2010
Sent to his demise by Snookie, Paulie D, J Wow and The Situation…
Muse Ishan: Boxed Notes
Here lies a Real Housewife from the Jersey Shore: Death and Reality are inescapable
Phylis O. Fur: Postmortemist thinker, cat lover.
"All dressed up and nowhere to go."
:)
Even in death, you people walk all over me.
The Ecomomy
WWII – 2010
It was good while it lasted.
This won't make sense for YOU, but my friends would love this. So I think I'll be putting it on one of mine. Nonetheless, sharing:
"Here lies Dugan… DUGAN LIED, a few too many times!" -it's an inside joke. I think someone even made a custom "Dugan lies" T-Shirt.