Annual Tombstone Epitaph Contest

Last year I held this contest and it was such a great fun that I decided to do it again.

I make a few new tombstones every year. It takes hours to make each one including the time it takes to find just the right name and epitaph.

This is where you come in.

Leave a comment with your tombstones name and/or epitaph idea.

Rules: No Sex, Satan, or anything Religious. That stuff just creeps out the neighbors AND I do have small children who live with me.

I’ll be the judge in the end and the winners will be on display in my cemetery this year.

You can read last years entries HERE.
You can find last years winners HERE.

35 thoughts on “Annual Tombstone Epitaph Contest

  1. I have a vintage tombstone salt and pepper set that belonged to my great grandmother. The read as follows:

    Here lies
    Pepper Tate
    Hanged By Mistake

    He was right
    and we was wrong
    but we strung him up
    and now he's gone.

    Here lies
    Salty O'Day
    Hoss Thief

    A rope necktie
    and an old oak tree
    and old Salty wasn't
    what he used to be.

  2. Here Lies
    The Oxford Comma
    Tragically removed by a serial killer panda who eats, shoots and leaves.
    Beloved by his parents, Ayn Rand and God.

    Here lies Anita Newhart
    She was next on the donor list.

    Here Lies The Honey Badger
    It Don't Care (PG version)

    Here Lies The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger
    It Just Don't Give a Shit. (R version)

    Here Lies
    Imis Theeties
    "I tried a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body."

  3. Owning 3 herding dogs means never being alone.
    Until now!

    Here lies Capt. Barbossa
    Where's my damn apple?

    Ima Rustie
    Shoulda got a tetanus booster

  4. Something a little more serious, perhaps?

    I shall lie like this when I am dead–
    But with one more secret in my head.
    from Dorothy Livesay's "Going to Sleep", from the poetry collection To Say the Least, edited by P. K. Page

    Thank you for spreading the spirit!

  5. Ok, mine must be bad bc I have the uncontrollable urge to explain each bad joke so that everyone gets it…

    see, if you say the name out loud for the first one…
    and the second one's last name is "Nicks" – you know… like when you nick yourself shaving?

    *sigh* I give up.

  6. Muse Ishan: Boxed Notes

    Here lies a Real Housewife from the Jersey Shore: Death and Reality are inescapable

    Phylis O. Fur: Postmortemist thinker, cat lover.

  7. This won't make sense for YOU, but my friends would love this. So I think I'll be putting it on one of mine. Nonetheless, sharing:
    "Here lies Dugan… DUGAN LIED, a few too many times!" -it's an inside joke. I think someone even made a custom "Dugan lies" T-Shirt.

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