Sons Souvenir Gone Wrong

Last week my husband was out of town for 7 days in Seattle.  He extended his stay over the weekend to catch up with a few friends who now live there and to see the sites.  This being one of the longer trips he’s taken in a while, he decided to bring the family back a few handpicked souvenirs over the weekend.


I opened mine and found these adorable little Halloween figurines.

These are called "Furrybones"

These are called “Furrybones”


My younger son got a toy bus and this t-shirt which is a play on Angry Birds

Angry Crabs


And finally he got my older son 2 t-shirts; he bought a bacon one and one with zombies which B wore to school today.

While the kids are at school, I head to the copy machine room in the school to finish some volunteer work.

I walk in and B’s classroom teacher is in there.

We exchange some casual dialog and she says “About that shirt B is wearing today”

My mind immediately races to “OH MY GOD HE DIDN’T WEAR THE BACON SHIRT DID HE?!”

I hear her mention “zombies” and sigh in relief.   I refocus as she says that he was going around saying

“Look at my inappropriate shirt”


Then she mentioned the words that were on the zombie shirt.

Not having really looked at the shirt he wore today, my face looked like this:


I then did what any wife would do in that situation, I threw my husband under the bus explaining he bought it and he must have lost his eyesight on the space needle.

I’m fortunate that she’s a lovely lady and understood about husbands and we laughed a little all the while I wished I was butter in the microwave set on 100%.

Later, B gets out of school and he actually has on a different t-shirt (luckily he has an event after school today and the team all got t-shirts today for it) that he changed into.

I ask him to see the zombie shirt that is now in his backpack.

Dear 4th grade parents, I'm sorry that your child's vocabulary now includes BITCHY and HORNY.

Dear 4th grade parents, I’m sorry that your child’s vocabulary now includes BITCHY and HORNY.

Well now.

This is not a shirt, had I been paying attention, that would have been purchased let alone actually worn to school.


But honestly?  At that moment I was just happy it wasn’t the Bacon shirt.

Worst website name ever.

Worst website name ever.