Opting back into Me

We didn’t have an elaborate plan for me to stay home.  We didn’t budget for or work out the logistics.  Given that my husband and I met when I was 20, married at 25, 1st child at 30, this lack of planning was uncharacteristic of us.

When it came down to it, the amount of money I would have brought home after childcare was so little it hardly made sense for me to return.   With a few adjustments we could make it work and here I am 10.5 years later.

There’s a lot of buzz out there about mothers and working, opting out, opting back into the work force, and regretting opting out in the 1st place.   The view points are exhausting.

Once the word got out that I was about to come into the mother load of free time, I started to hear it

“So, what are you going to do with all your time now?”

“Are you going to go back to work?”

To which I answered “Sleep, and hell no”

First of all, being home for 10.5 years leaves an enormous fucking gap in one’s resume if you didn’t know.

Second of all, childcare still becomes an issue since my kids get out of school at 2:30.

Third of all, nope.

I’ve sacrificed 10.5 years of shopping with kids in tow as they pull down displays of perfectly stacked apples, ripped into packaged toys in the aisle at Target that I would then have to purchase, and have crapped on me more times than someone should be crapped on.

I’m in no condition to go back to work people.

What I am ready for is a big fat dose of me.  ME ME ME ME.



Oh, and that over there?  That’s me.

That’s right.  I’m opting back into THIS BITCH.  Me.

Anyone who knows me in real life (and maybe even on the internet) may suspect that I’m not a natural stay at home mom.  Sure, I’ve made it work more or less but that’s only because I stopped cleaning the house five years ago.

I need more.   More than sparkling toilets, floors, and clean dishes.

I need more for my brain.  Oh my god, my poor atrophied brain.

Looking back onto my internet activities one can see that I was so starved for brain food that I started a twitter account.

There were people in that there computer.  Smart as hell and funny people.  And my brain needed them.

But now?  I’m free.  I can barely contain the freeness that my brain has felt over the last few days of being able to think.

Me+ time for brain to think= UNSTOPPABLE.

In fact, the number of projects and ideas I’ve had in 3 days would get me a script for Adderall.

Finish 1/2 bathroom

Call about flooring main floor

Call about flooring upstairs

Paint basement

Paint kitchen

Refinish dining table

Spray-paint frames in bedroom to silver

Change out countertop in kid’s bathroom with new faucet

New flooring for kid’s bathroom

Redecorate basement bathroom

Finish organizing craft closet

Transform chest into a file cabinet

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Welcome to my brain.

Besides that, I have other plans that I’ve actually thought out.  Stuff to get me out of the house of projects.

Those include taking tennis back up.  Whereas I hate to exercise, I DO like being active and if there’s a chance I can win?  Better.

Joining a Spanish group.  My husband and I were/are? fluent in Spanish and I’d love the opportunity to sit around to just speak it.   Y?  Utiliza my cabeza differente.

Take a wood working class.

Take a photo editing class

Take a photography class

I’m the type of person that if I’m not learning something new?  I’m bored.

Then there’s this holiday coming up called HALLOWEEN.  That will keep me busy through Oct.

So you see?  I can’t possibly go back to work now.    I’m going to be too busy becoming awesome.

It’s going to be amazing.