Dear Sons, Good Luck finding Me

Have you ever heard that Son’s pick wives like their mothers? I don’t even know if this is true or not but let’s pretend it is. Otherwise I have no post. Let’s also put aside comparing ourselves to our own mother in laws. I mean, let’s be honest. Not all of us are going to win that game.

I’m pretty lucky though. My mother in law is good. (waves hi!)

I have two sons and one day I thought about them getting married and what their wives would be like. Then I thought of the above. I immediately felt bad for my sons. How will they EVER be able to find an awesome wife as I am mom?

My sons are used to eating quick. I have mastered the ability to match their needs.
How many women are able to produce a hotdog breakfast in 30 seconds from the microwave? I have also mastered the drive in order:

I’d like two happy meals, both chicken nuggets.
One 4 piece, one 6 piece.
Both boys.
One sprite One juice box Also
One cheeseburger ketchup only.

Are there other women capable of placing an order with such ease and eloquence?

This sort of mastery can only be accomplished over years of experience.

I know there are times they need to feed themselves. I wonder if their wives will know to leave the pantry door open for them. Will she know that keeping corn chips, goldfish crackers and fruit cups in there covers 3 major food groups? I’m no nutritionist but I have been balancing the pantry pyramid for years. I hope their future wives can learn the delicate balancing act of the pantry pyramid.

I understand that it’s not all about their wives taking care of them. I have also to taught my sons excellent survival skills. Fishing starts at a young age in our household. Actually as soon as you know colors? It’s time to fish. They fish everyday. It starts in the morning. They head over to “sock basket pond” and really hope it’s their lucky day to catch a match. It’s really teaching them persistence and patience. I wonder if their future wives will know how to properly stock the pond for them.

In the end I know they will choose wonderful women who will love and care for them like I do. If they’re lucky, maybe they will even become parents. And if they do? I’ll be right here laughing at them.

Sock Basket Pond is ALWAYS stocked at our house