You might have been an asshole at a conference if….

1)You start to follow people on twitter from the business cards you collected and you’ve already been

 2)Your facebook blog page has shrunk over the weekend.

3)You try to DM a friend “Get me out of this conversation with @person” and instead you publicly tweet it.

4) Someone says they read your blog and you apologize to them.

5) You assume that the serving of cake pops is 10.

6) You treated the vendor areas like a shopping trip to Costco

7) You treated the vendor areas like a game of tackle football

8) You ripped apart a vendor display to get to the toilet wands.

9) You don’t reserve a large enough venue and people end up sitting on the floor eating lunch.

10) You were a hotel employee that assumed that every woman there was a blogger and not worth the customer service they deserved.

11) You thought I might fall for spamming the hell out of my community by offering me a “chance” to win something.

12) You never really gave people the attention they deserved and had a wandering eye for the “next big thing” around the corner.

13) You met tall, short, thin, fat, beautiful, or ugly people and judged or dismissed them instead of finding them the whole reason you were there.

Dear Martha, (Updated)

Dear Martha,

We all know my “thing” with you started a long time ago.  Before the internet explosion I sifted through your magazines with a fine sieve to get all the nuggets of beauty out of it.  I cataloged the ideas in my head and used PostIts on the pages for reference.

And then you came out with the Index and it became my most prized possession.

Once you started an online presence, I was thrilled.  This was about 13 years ago?  There was a forum section where people would discuss topics.   I joined the forums with the name TheNextMartha.    Many years later, I would join twitter with that same name.

And now, your internet presence is enormous.

Your site has grown to be a huge resource.

You have your own apps.

You have spun off many sites including the craft department, editors, and countless other “faux Martha’s” sites like my own.

And in some ways this makes it easier for people like me to find you. (Well, that sounded a little stalker)  It also makes it somewhat harder to KEEP UP with you.

Though, let’s be honest, you sleep 4 hours a night, that’s going be hard to keep up with no matter who you are.

::pours half gallons sized cup of coffee::

So what’s my point here.

I’m a fan of yours.  A big fan.  I admire your empire.   I feel like I live in it on a daily basis in my own little way.

I was up last night at 10:30 making ice cream sandwiches for my kids today.  That’s something you would do right?

I am very project oriented and tend to get caught up doing/creating and maybe not taking the time to see.

Do you ever get like that?

I just wrote a piece on Pinterest recently and decided that I wanted to find some new inspiration to follow on there.  I decided that you probably follow some fantastic pinners so I went to your profile.

(Though I’m not going to tell you what you should or should not do, you might want to think about linking your facebook fan page and your twitter to your profile)

















































I’m not going lie when I say that I had to scroll up and down 3 times to make sure I saw what I saw.

Once upon a time you followed me on twitter.  There’s a story to that.  But as flattering as it is, I don’t fool myself to think that you actually read my tweets.  Though, I say some funny stuff, so you might want to think about it.

But this makes me think that someone somewhere in your organization is watching, maybe reading, and hopefully laughing.

So, whoever you are?  Hi, and who do I talk to about a new hot glue gun?


P.S.  I’m still available to get together in NY at blogher.  Or any time between Aug 1st and 5th.    Whatever works for you.

P.P.S  Just as I finished that last sentence the song “Call Me Maybe” came on my ipod.  SWEAR TO GLITTER.

P.P.P.S  If that’s not a sign?  I don’t know what is.



Dear Martha Stewart,

Maybe you’ve noticed I’ve got a “thing” with you.

The twitter name.

The blog name.

But how did this start?  The Martha thing.

I’ve always been creative.  As a child, I often would rearrange my room monthly and dream up new designs for it.  I also used to sew my own Barbie clothes.  I took shop class AND home economics in middle school.   Doing and creating has been a part of me for as long as I can remember.

Then I “met” you.

It was fall of ’94 and my future husband and I lived in an apartment.  A gross, roach infested, shady complex.  It was all we could afford at the time.  I made the most of it.  I hung pictures, new curtains, blinds and bleached all surfaces on the daily.

One day I was watching tv and the next show to come up was yours.  I don’t even recall what the name was then.  Living, with Martha Stewart?  I started watching the show and my head could not even keep up with what I was visually seeing.

WHO was this woman and HOW do I become her?

Then I bleached the couch.  Again.

At the end of the show it showed this magazine that I could subscribe to.


It was like I had hit the creative craft jackpot.

I called on the phone (isn’t that cute?) to subscribe immediately.

And then it began.

Seventeen years of Living magazine. November ’94 on the right. But you already knew that didn’t you?













Cooking, creating, and building all had a new energy in my life.

This new found love took many forms.  Hosting dinners, baking, wrapping beautiful packages, home decorating, gardening  and of course,  Halloween.

They became more than ideas in a magazine.

They became my life.    (cockroaches not included)

And you know what? It turns out I’m good. I’m really good. I often extend my skills out to family and friends and I don’t even ask for payment. Well. Maybe a pie IS excellent payment but I don’t ask. When something is your passion, you want to share. I answer any questions asked of me on the twitter. I help paint rooms, pick out décor, redo gardens, and spread Halloween spirit throughout my neighborhood.

Heck, I even had your hairdo at one point.

So after all this, how could you not want to meet me?

Sure you do.

Guess what? YOU CAN.

You and I will be at Blogher, New York in August.



So have your people call my people and we’ll make this happen.