Self Imposed Censorship

My brain likes walls. This isn't a political statement.

I’ve never been the type of writer that imposes deadlines or mandates on how often I decide to put fingers to keyboard.

Part of being creative in nature is using different avenues to express my mind….and writing just hasn’t been the road I’ve chosen for a while. It’s not that I haven’t been active on other social medias, I have, but this space has sat in time out for quite a while.

At this point, I know more former bloggers than current and while I do miss their words…I understand their need to just let go.

I’m not there quite yet but I do feel like I’m in a place of transition.

I used to put words down freely to the wide open internet space in a mostly anonymous way. That feeling of writing in the shadows was a big draw for me.

And then there is just continued life blockades.

As I become more connected with people in my community, the more guarded I feel about my words and the implications of them. This last year I’ve felt my words creating a wall from the inside. Not letting the words out.  This likely stems from keeping people at an arms length…..it’s a coping mechanism from my childhood that lives on.

I want to share about parenting a really strong and stubborn headed child (looks at mirror) or the transition of my older son (who initiated my online writing 8 years ago) into high school.

High school. Sigh.

As my children grow, there is also a need to protect them as their own people without their mom constantly posting stories and pictures of them.

I want to talk about having a thyroid disease that took out my brain for 6 months last year. Spoiler: I’m not one who does well working on 60% brain function.

I want to talk about how I’m becoming more involved with politics and there’s been quite the learning curve to all things government for me….but I’m getting there.

I want to talk about smaller and more frivolous life impacts like social engineering, a new house remodeling project, and how rabbits in my garden still piss me off.

I’m not sure why today was the day I decided to put more than a sentence together. That’s the way creativity works. You never when the creativity train decides to go.

I’m less concerned with how often I post but I am working on removing the self imposed censorship….maybe this is the start.

 

 

 

 

 

 

3 thoughts on “Self Imposed Censorship

  1. So great to see you at the beginning of lifting your self-imposed censorship! I, for one, have missed your words, and hope this is the beginning of more greatness (of you) to come! ;)

  2. Hooray. I miss your sentences. Your thoughts. Your sometimes hilarious sometimes heart wrenching posts. I miss your hashtags. I’m glad the train pulled back into the station.

Leave a Reply