What is it about the drop off/pick up line at schools that makes for the worst parking lot experience next to a Trader Joe’s? Our district sends out emails, maps, phone calls, follow up emails, and more maps and people still get it wrong. We’re almost a month into school and I just can’t stay quiet anymore.
Is it you?
1) You turn left into the parking lot when there is a sign that says “No Left Turn.” It’s called the Kindergarten Word Wall. Check it out.
2) You decide that the crosswalks are just a suggestion. No really, cross wherever works for you. We can all stop and wait for you and princess and the pea.
3) You park in the pull through line. Like, you legit put your SUV into P as others dropping off their kid have to pull around you day after day after day at almost a month into school. Yeah, I honked at you today.
4) You wait in pull through lane until your child walks to their door 75 feet away. Cut-The-Cord. ::hands over scissors::
5) You open your child’s door every day for them to get out of the car and they’re 10. Just stop.
6) You speed through the school zone. No, really, your time is the MOST important of all so please forgive the rest of us and our same 24 allotted hours.
7) You don’t give children the right of way. This is so dangerous that I hope your car gets keyed by their bike pedals and it ends up magically spelling “yoou’re a jeeerrrk”
8) You ignore people directing school zone traffic. Do you really think those volunteers wear fluorescent yellow because it’s a great fall neutral? No. If they tell you to move, go, stop, turn, rollerskate. Do it.
9) You park in a no parking zone. Don’t worry. No one is telling the police to ticket you. Probably.
10) You pull up unshowered, no bra on, mascara running down your face, open the door and let your wrinkled kids fall out into their merry way as you immediately drive off sipping your morning café. Oh wait. This is me.
**Bonus 11) You TEXT in a school drop off zone. Don’t deny it. I took a picture of you while I was parked.
Update: Not on my watch.