Like other states we have elections coming up.
Are you tired of the sea of red/white/blue signs because I am.
The politicians behind them claim that they are “fresh, new, for change”
But their signs? Suck.
They aren’t fresh, new or a change from status quo.
What happened to being an American? Where is the originality? The uniqueness of the person?
I mean I already have a hard time remembering these people’s names when I go to vote.
“Was he the red sign with the blue stripe or the Blue sign with the white stars?
Forget campaign reform. I’m ready to rally for Sign reform.
For you politicians interested in getting MY vote here are a few ideas:
I also discovered that this political year?
I am VERY Important
I live in Illinois. Hear of it? And you’re first thoughts were “oh, yeah. That’s the corrupted state.”
My thoughts too!
Are you getting 35 political phone calls a day? I don’t know about yours but my calls from these campaing people have been getting all questiony. For example:
Caller: Hi, I’m from the X Party and we want to see if you’re voting because we see that you voted in 1996
Me: Um, yeah (here we go again)
Caller: Because Barak Obama needs your help….(I cut her off)
Me: I KNOW because he’s already called me twice and I must be the most important person in the country!
Caller: Can you tell me what time you will be voting?
Me: Is a bra required? If not I can make it sooner but no sooner than it takes me to drink 3 cups of coffee and that time can vary depending on if I eat breakfast or if my kid decides to dump the box of cheese its into the milk again or not
Caller: (a few giggles but she’s got her script) How will you be getting there will you walk/drive?
Me: Ooooooooooh no, no, no, no. We don’t exercise in this house. I WILL be driving and keep your fingers crossed for that bra ON.
Caller: Ok, well thank you for your time and just to inform you we may do a follow up call later that day to see how your voting went and that your vote was cast for “X”
Wait, wait, wait, WHAT? Doesn’t that ruin the element of surprise?
We have “elections” so that you count votes. Get it?
This? Amused me.
And you know what? I like to be amused.
So on Tuesday when the “X” people call back to see how my vote went I may say this:
Caller: Hi, I’m from the “x” campaign and was just doing a follow up to see how your vote for “X” went
Me: Oh, I decided not to vote for X after all.
Caller: Oh, I’m sorry I thought you agreed to vote for X the other day
Me: Yeah, I thought about it and when I got there I didn’t see any massage tables set up
Caller: I’m sorry, I don’t understand
Me: Well you see, I’ve been picking up the phone so much with all you political people calling me that I figured that if you REALLY wanted my vote that you would offer me a massage after
Caller: I’m sorry, that isn’t the way it works
Me: Listen, I live in Illinois, you live in Illinois, I think we know how this works. I vote for you, you give me something. You give me nothing, no vote for you
Caller: I apologize but that is illegal in all 50 states.
Me: you mean except Illinois, I’ve heard of Rod you know. Also? Your signs sucked. No vote for you.